Wasting Time

My favorite movie of the past year was Call Me By Your Name. It was so beautiful in spirit and the way it was filmed. The best part was the conversation near the end between the dad and his heartbroken son. The message was: Feel the feelings. Do not deaden them. Do not numb them. Feel them. Throughout our lives we loose bits of our full selves. Through hard painful times, we chip away bits of ourselves in order to hopefully not feel so much pain again. But then we don’t feel the fullness of life, the expansive beautiful range that is the human experience. I don’t want to do that anymore.

When we try something creative, and we suck at it. Should we just stop trying? Because the point is to do something beautiful. If we can’t, well that is just proof that I am no artist! I should leave the painting to the artists. The music to the musicians. OR. Who the fuck cares if it’s any good?! The point of creativity is to create. Every one wants to create. And it does not matter what we create. It’s the experience that matters, not the end product. It feels so good to create something, anything, no matter who you are. This is why so many people love to cook. They are quite literally creating something. Especially for those who do not have creative jobs. My husband always talks about how much he LOVES to cook. He is not particularly good at it. And he rarely gives himself the time to do it. But he will save recipes from the New York Times for months, just dreaming about taking the time to try it. But even when he does make even the most simple meal he gets so much pleasure and satisfaction from the experience. Recently I was like, “It’s because you never get to be creative! You spend your whole day interviewing people and in meetings! It feels amazing for you to create!!”


People in the sciences or business can spend the day dealing with numbers and facts. So cooking feels like a breath of fresh air! To put things together and create something that was not there before can be so satisfying. This is also why adult coloring books have become so popular. Ooooooohhhhh to spend some time choosing colors and taking something from a black and white page to full color is an enchanting experience to those who never let themselves do anything creative or artistic. It’s time to change that. Being creative is an important part of the human experience. To use the part of our brain that works on intuition. To silence the facts and the details.


There was quite a few years in there when I was building my career where I thought, oh hobbies. That’s so cute. But I can’t imagine putting my precious time into a hobby. Something that I do for no reason at all. I need to focus on what matters right now. My job, making money, my family and friends. I can’t believe people my age (20s-30s) would have a hobby! They are the unsuccessful people. Only retired people should have hobbies.

What a load of crap! No wonder things have always felt off for me. So all that matters is money? The only things worth doing are career advancement/making money and free time is for family and friends. That’s it huh? Talk about a limited life experience. I’m so sick of thinking that what is important is what makes money. Our society has pushed that for so long but I’m done with it. Life can be complex and meaningful and joyful and painful and so beautiful. When we do not chip away at ourselves. When we do not get rid of all of the wonderful things about ourselves. As young people we had so many interests, so many forms of expression. Maybe sports or music or acting or sewing or science or speech or cooking or writing on and on. But as we got older, only 1 or 2 things were “important” aka made money. So the rest were rejected. That whole dynamic self got whittled down to something small and a lot less joyful. It’s time to reclaim our whole selves. All of the parts. The parts that make money, the parts that make joy, the parts that make a mess.

If you are reading this and thinking hell yes!! I'd like to invite you to join me in the Humanities Dept. A place to explore your creative side. Just because it feels good and we all need it. We are kicking off in May with 3 workshops where you can explore painting, writing, and photography led by Megan Krzmarzick, Laura Shinn, and myself. Come spend an hour or so on a Thursday night creating something for the hell of it. Maybe you will discover something that makes you feel incredible! Or maybe you'll just have some laughs. No matter what, it will be time well spent. Click here to sign up! We can't wait to see you there.  


Jolie GoodsonComment